(school room noises)
It's night time in the Big City
a writer stares at a blank sheet of paper
a pet poodle scratches at a window Your school for dreams, schemes and themes. Your university of perversity.
School's now in session.

The Singers and Songs

  • I Love the College Girls
    THIS SONG IS IN THE WRONG PLACE IN THE EPISODE AND NEEDS TO BE MOVED - no worries, as long as it is assigned to the right theme, we'll make it work :)
  • You Don't Learn That In School
  • Back to School Days
  • High School USA (Minneapolis/St Paul version)
    "He did like 40 versions of it, recorded them all in like 2 days. Imagine what the last version must have sounded like! I get tired just doin' this radio show!"
  • Don't Be a Dropout
  • Lincoln and 46
  • Homework
  • The Marquees
    Hey, Little School Girl
  • Brenda Holloway with The Supremes
    Play it Cool, Stay in School
  • Babs Gonzales
    Professor Bop
  • Sam Cooke
    Wonderful World
  • School of Rock n' Roll
    "Listen to the piano playing on this record, it just pushes the thing along. Without the piano the guitar player might as well drop out."
  • Still In School
  • To Sir with Love
  • High School Confidential
    "The Killer"
  • School's Out
    "Guillotine and golf aficionado"
  • Sonny Boy Williamson
    Good Morning Schoolgirl

The Other People and Players

  • and the (Light Crust Doughboys) Texas Playboys
  • Carl Perkins
  • The Park Lane Orchestra
  • The Rounders
  • The Campus Boys
  • The Jazz Pilots
  • Ozzie and Harriet Nelson
  • Gene Vincent and His Bluecaps
  • Bisbee Schwartz
  • Myra Gayle
  • JW Brown
  • Bill Clinton
    "Definitely a man who could take you from crayons to perfume."
  • Natalie Merchant
  • Michael Stipe
  • Terry Adams
  • Herb Albert
  • Lou Adler
  • Roy Haynes
  • Whitten Kelly
  • JJ Johnson
  • Sonny Rollins
  • Blood, Sweat and Tears
  • The Everly Brothers
  • Marvin Gaye
  • James Burton
  • Martin Belmont
  • Bill Ridges and His Orchestra
  • The Beatles
  • Mark "no ding dong"Twain
    "I never let my schooling interfere with my education"
  • Elvis Presley
    "Cleaned up that naughty 'One Night' and hit big with it" “the swivel hipped rockabilly cat”

The Other Songs and Albums

  • You Make Me So Very Happy
  • All Your Love
  • Three Times a Fool
  • My Love Will Never Die
  • I Can't Quit You, Baby

The Guests

The Books and Poems

The Places

  • Ann Arbor, MI
  • Glasgow, Scotland
  • Atwater Village
  • Welsey, MA
  • Barnwell, SC
  • Dallas, TX
  • Los Angeles

Record Labels


  • Paula Abdul
  • Halle Berry
  • Katie Couric
  • George W Bush
  • Dwight D Eisenhower
  • Ruth Bader Ginsburg
  • Steve Martin
  • Trent Lott
  • Samuel L Jackson
  • Madonna
  • FDR (also 32nd president)
    'The school is the last expenditure upon which America should be willing to economize.'

Women's Colleges


  • University of Michigan - Behavioral Neuroscience
  • Princeton - Experimental Psychology
  • Harvard - Historical Sociology


School Mascots

Kinds of Teachers

  • Shop
  • Latin
  • Profs of Law
  • Profs of Medicine


Commercials and Public Service Announcements

Subjects Covered

  • Math
    Slide Rule
  • Science
    Potential and Kinetic Energy
    "Let me hip ya"
  • Biology
    The Cerebrum
  • History
    The Battle of Hastings

I went to a tough high school, even the debating team was on steroids.